Are You a Morning Person, or a People Person?

care04mod

One of the nicest things about having a job is not having to interview anymore. I chronicled my annoyances with the job search process pretty extensively while I was in it, and I’m very happy to be out of it. I’m also happy that my current employers didn’t ask me any of the stupid b.s. questions that I had heard from so many other HR types, including my all-time favorite, “What would you say is your biggest fault?, which as I believe I pointed out at the time may have cost me two jobs in a month.

I’m thinking about all of this because Jean has a phone interview this afternoon and asked me to throw some questions at her last night. It took quite a while before I could think of any but the annoying ones, and then I started thinking of amusing variations. Well, amusing to me anyway. Not necessarily to someone who was trying to prepare for an interview.

Where do you see yourself in the next five minutes?

What would you say is your biggest arm?

Think back to a recent conflict with a colleague and describe how you resolved it — using only facial expressions.

Would you describe yourself as a person?

Do you consider yourself a self-starter? Would you be willing to help start others?

What did I mean by that last question?

We want to get to know you as a person, not just as an employee. What are you like in the sack?

What makes you so goddamn special?

Irreconcizzable Diffizzles

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snoop dog

According to the Washington Post, Snoop Dogg is getting a divizzle. For those of you who modeled your romantic lives after the example set by Snoop “I’m going to be like a real journalist here and say “born Calvin Broadus” and Shante, this must come as a shock. I wonder if Shante will get to keep the house profiled on MTV Cribs. I continue to watch that show in the vain hope of seeing something as rewarding as Snoop walking into the dining room and announcing, “This is where we get our eat on at”

IQuizzle Tizzle:

Snoop Dogg and Shante have three children: Cordell, Corde and Cori. If they were to have another child, what would his or her name be?

a” Corill
b” Cordeli
c” Cardillo
d” Cov
e” Co