What Would Jesus Drive?

2004.05.17

in Uncategorized

gods_grand_am

I’m no theologian, but I’m pretty sure that if there is a God, He or She does not drive a Pontiac Grand Am.

  • xxx

    Chrysler Crossfire?

  • mck

    I’m pretty sure that it was god that cut me off on I-40 this morning in a shiny new Hummer. Had the beard and everything.

  • Jerry

    Well, the license plate doesn’t specify that the driver is the God. Could be any god, really. The god of Zep tribute bands and Natural Light, maybe.

  • pbbbbb

    I’m surprised that’s not on the DMV’s list of plates you can’t have.

    By the by, what the hell does “Power of Pride” mean, anyway? We’ll blow ‘em away with our national ego? Do people bother reading their bumper stickers before they put them on the car, or is it enough to like the pretty flag motif?

  • http://blab-o-rama.com beerzie boy

    He drives a 1959 El Camino.

  • http://www.betsuni.net/adda Adda

    I am pretty sure that says GOO.

  • http://plooble.typepad.com dbt

    Nope. GOD. It was parked across the street from the house where we stayed on Ocracoke. I saw it every day for a week.

  • http://archerpelican.typepad.com Phil

    Though I’d never claim to be God, I did drive a ’94 Grand Am for a half-year in Chicago and Ohio, and that car frickin’ ROCKED. The seat fit me just right, and I could drive for hours without feeling the need for a break. And it was the first car I’d driven with ABS, which was great in the northern ice and snow.

  • http://www.unc.edu/~fergusje/blog jean

    a few other facts about god: she’s an african american women in her 30′s who appears to run a tanning salon called ‘the sandless tan’ or maybe it was ‘the beachless tan’. she waved at me when i was riding my bike down the street. she’s very friendly.

  • Jerry

    Wow! Buddy Cole was right!

  • http://beck.typepad.com beck

    You’re right. Plooble is fun to say.

  • http://www.suburbanbliss.net Melissa

    Wow, Mr Protege is judging God for driving a perfectly sensible Grand Am? Nice.

    Seriously though, I bet God drives an Expedition.

  • wfty

    Did the driver use the turn signals? God would. Of course, you wouldn’t need to if you were on the road with that car; God knows where you’re going.

  • http://www.betsuni.net/adda Dad’s Biggest Fan

    Dear Plooble,
    Since you seem kinda busy, why not ask your Dad to take over your blog for a while? He is still Way Funnier Than You.
    Sincerely,
    Your Readership

  • http://plooble.typepad.com/bleef dbt

    No God of mine would drive an Expedition. Personally, I think he’d be in a Bentley (a Rolls would just be overdoing it).

    But I have no doubt what Jesus would drive: Honda Civic hybrid.

  • http://pauldavidson.blogs.com Pauly D

    For your information, Jesus drives a Mitsubishi Montero with built-in MP3 player/CD thingie.

  • mck

    Apparently god just traded his Hummer in for a 2005 Ford Armageddon….Should we be worried ?

  • http://www.suburbanbliss.net Melissa S

    I said the Expedition thing because I knew it would make you turn your back on God.

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