The Sleep-Proof Baby

We had a good run. For two nights in a row, Conrad only woke up once to feed. It was like a spa vacation. But last night he woke up every two hours, and between 7:30 this morning and 10:00 tonight, he took only one 20-minute nap. We looked it up on the Information Superhighway and found two possible explanations; he might be having a growth spurt, and he might also be having a cognitive growth spurt. In other words, he might be learning something new. Whatever it was Jean read said that often babies don’t sleep when they are mastering a new skill, and then sleep through the night for the next couple of nights to recover. Based on his lack of sleep today I expect to wake up in the morning and find him riding a unicycle while reciting pi to 39 places in Urdu.

Hastings has decided he needs to help when Conrad is upset. He’ll walk over with a concerned look on his face, and reach up and put a paw on Conrad if he can reach him, or rub his face against Conrad’s head. It’s very sweet, but sometimes, when Conrad has been inconsolable for half an hour for instance, it almost feels critical. “Oh great. Even the cat thinks we’re doing something wrong.”

Ew, gross. That smells good.

In the last 10 weeks we’ve had innumerable experiences that seemed astonishing to us, but we realize in retrospect are absolutely common. I mentioned early on I would try to avoid the new dad phenomenon of acting like we’re the first people ever to have a baby. So forgive me if it seems trite to mention that our life is so full of effluent these days that we barely even notice it. Things that would have made me choke back a gag in January can now be handled while holding a sandwich in the other hand.

The name of the above-pictured product therefore fits in nicely with our new, no-big-deal attitude toward bodily functions. Half of our conversations revolve around some aspect of belching, farting, peeing or pooping, so it makes perfect sense that we have a product in our lives called “Butt Paste.”

But there is one thing about the product that, despite its efficacy, will make me reconsider when it’s time to buy a new tube:

It smells good.

No, I mean, it smells really good, like something you would fill a pastry with. The web site says it has a balsam scent, but it smells more like vanilla to me. When I’m standing over my son, having just removed his dirty diaper, ready to slather his pooper, I don’t want to be thinking, “I wonder what this tastes like?”

It also distresses me that this blog will now show up in searches for “butt paste smells good.”

Oh, if every day were like today

Last night Conrad went to bed peacefully at 9pm. He awoke around 4am to eat. Dave had gone to bed at 9:30 and I followed shortly at 10. This allowed us each a 6 hour stretch of much needed sleep. The next awakening was a bit before 7am, but was followed shortly by an hour long nap around 8.

There was a second nap around 11 for about 45 minutes. We went for a car ride at 2, which resulted in the inevitable car nap. Now, it’s 5:30 and our lovely boy is taking his 4th nap of the day. Will wonders never cease?

Also, this morning Conrad passed some developmental milestone. He learned to scooch. By scooching, I mean that he was lying on his back and he used his legs to push himself backwards. He made it out of the baby gym and on to the quilt lying next to it.

I suppose this means that the safety days of leaving him on the bed or other higher surface while doing something else are over. But it’s was quite awesome to see him moving himself across the floor.

But perhaps I’ve ruined it by posting it here for all to see, for now my boy is flapping his arms and kicking his legs in what can only mean, ‘I’m not tired’. Something we’re quite familiar with.

Fo fanny

After going through about 50 email responses to our Craig’s List and newspaper postings and half a dozen phone interviews, we have found a nanny. It was actually a lot easier than we thought it would be. There’s a place in town where people looking for work hang out, and she was there with some of the guys. She said she has lots of child care experience. Well, really she just said “Yes” to every question we asked. She promised she’d leave him with plenty of food and water if she had to leave during the day.

But seriously, we did find a nanny. She’s got extensive infant care experience and worked at a daycare center and has a degree in early childhood education. She’s worked at a bank for the last several years but has been thinking of becoming a full-time nanny for a while when she saw our ad. Plus, we like her. We talked to several people who were perfectly well qualified, but didn’t quite gel. Obviously if we’re going to be seeing her every day and discussing Conrad’s growth and happiness and development with her, we want someone who can hold up her end.

Maybe we can add blogging to her list of responsibilities and not go three weeks between posts anymore.

Now of course we have to figure out what to call her. I think we’ll follow the convention from the movie “The Nanny Diaries” and call her Nanny. Maybe we’ll insist she call herself that, too.

“I have to go to the DMV Friday, so I’d like to leave a little early.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say, Nanny?”

“Alright, fine. Nanny has to go to the DMV Friday, so Nanny would like to leave a little early.”

“Absolutely not.”