If a four year-old does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different coach. Let him step to the whistle which he hears, however measured or far away.

Me: “We’re having a yard sale and we thought we might sell some of your old toys.”

The Boy: “Nooooo! Don’t sell my old toys!!! I still want them!!!”

Me: “If we sell your old toys, we can make money to buy new toys.”

The Boy: “I think maybe we should sell my old toys.”

The Mrs: “I love you.”
The Boy: “I love you with wires.”

Me: “What are you thinking about?”
The Boy: “I’m thinking about my future.”

Me: “Because then it would be called overwear.”

The Boy: “You be the police robot and I’ll be the bad guy robot.”
Police Robot: “You there. What’s your name?”
Bad Guy Robot: “Bad Guy Robot.”
Police Robot: “And just what do you think you’re doing?”
Bad Guy Robot: “Bad guy stuff.”

“Wow, this is a cool porta potty. I wish I could stay here. I wish there was a bed and a lot of food and toys.”

The Boy: “I want something to eat.”
The Mrs: “How about a rice cake?”
The Boy: “Yay! Rice cake! Rice cake! Hey… what’s that?”

Me: “What are you eating?”
The Boy: “A pretzel.”
Me: “Where did you get it?”
The Boy: “Couch.”

The Boy: “Daddy, what are zombies?”
Me: “Well, they’re like kind of like skeletons. Scary Halloween people.”
The Boy: “And they’re the walking dead.”
Me: “Who told you that?”
The Boy: “Mommy.”