Company Directory

“Hello, Heidi? You don’t know me, but…”


Several times in my checkered career, I have worked for a company we’ll call Major Telecommunications Company. One day I came across a very odd name in the corporate email directory. Imagine my delight when I found I was working for the same company as Plutarko Ciaz “who presumably returned to his home planet after the downsizings”. I spent some time going through the directory compiling some of the more unusual employee names. “And I was surprised when they laid me off?” Here you go:

Ercument Sismanoglu
Sivry Sivry
John Smallbone
Tim Tan
Jean-Paul Tanguy
Teresa Tart
Ayelet Plotnik
Amos Poon
Joe Pooparnthong
Ck Oon
Junior Small
Ralf Assmann
Alice Flaborea
Opal Flash
Jed Doody
Francois Doom
Dick Dorff
Douglas Doubt
Ingmar Putz
Nughmann Butt
Sheldon Button
Legpage Tito
Scarlett Ding
Natasha Fattedad
Dupuy Fatal
Mistie Cave
Fang Chang
Christina Chew-Mei-Mei
Alfredo Chinchilla
Sheryl Coxhead
Lee Crapco
Luc Baby
Hung-Hong Ho
David Coolbear
Fortune Coop
Johnny Blow
Young-June Moon
Olive Buggy
Yvonne Bumpass
Arlus Fruck
Ferngene Kook
Ed Hollywood
Lapkin Ip
Gush Phull
Dick Champagne
Dick Dumas
Dick Foo
Dick Ma
Happy Huang

And my favorite:

Heidi Ho

Heidi worked in the Hong Kong office. I called her number three or four times to see if she answered the phone by saying “Heidi Ho! but because of the time difference, I never found out.