God workaround

Our stove is acting funny and the repairman came yesterday. We need a new igniter. Sounds perfectly reasonable, considering that a stove only has a few key functions and igniting is certainly one of them.

He told me that our stove has a “Sabbath” feature. At first I thought I misheard him, or that he was setting up an Ozzy Osbourne joke. But no, the Sabbath feature apparently keeps the stove at a constant temperature all day so that you can use it without pressing any buttons.

We can debate the existence of God all we like, but can’t we all agree that if there is one, He would not be fooled by this?

“Hey! Thou shalt not… Oh wait, it’s a KitchenAid. Enjoy the meatloaf.”