Sometimes apologizing wrong is worse than not apologizing

A few years ago I went to the pharmacy and didn’t realize until I got home I’d been given someone else’s prescription. Our names are similar, but not our medications: instead of getting my allergy pills, I got his barbiturates.

I called the pharmacy, spoke to whatever you call the head pharmacist and told him what happened. He apologized profusely and said he would take care of it. At that point, I was done with it.

An hour later my phone rang. It was the pharmacist who had given me the wrong prescription. He was calling to apologize to me personally. He went on for a bit, explaining how it was a huge mistake and he regretted it, he understood the seriousness of giving someone the wrong prescription and promised it would never happen again. It was an extremely uncomfortable call for both of us. It didn’t make me feel any better about the situation. It made me feel as though I had been involuntarily drawn into some exercise on the head pharmacist’s part, designed to drive home the message to his employee.

Recently The Mrs and I stayed at a nice hotel with an excellent reputation. We had a great stay, but the service at breakfast wasn’t very good. We waited a long time to order, a long time for coffee, a long time for our food and a long time for coffee refills. When I got the email survey, I said pretty much what I said above and answered yes to the question, “Would you like to be contacted to discuss your response?” The form gave me the choice between receiving a response by phone or email. I checked email.

A few minutes ago my phone rang. I’m at home today and attempting to have a day off the network. I got up, crossed the room and answered the phone. It was the restaurant manager, calling to apologize.

My first reaction was not, “Wow, what great customer service.” My first reaction was, “I said I didn’t want to be called.” My beef with the hotel had been what I considered to be inattentive service. And now, in attempting to apologize, the manager had shown once again a lack of attention to my stated preferences as a customer.

Nobody likes to be in the situation of having disappointed a client or customer. But think about how you feel as a customer who has been wronged. Most people don’t like that feeling, either. Some people seem to enjoy the feeling of having the upper hand and being owed. In my experience though, most people don’t. Generally, humans like our interactions to be smooth and friendly and free of drama.

When you find yourself in the position of needing to apologize, make sure you’re doing it in a way that makes the situation less uncomfortable and less stressful for the customer. If you’re creating more drama in the way you apologize, you’re not doing anyone any good.

photo by secretlondon123