Three-year-old math

Me: “How many do you have?”
The Boy: “Five.”
Me: “And how many do I have?”
The Boy: “Four.”
Me: “What’s five minus four?”
The Boy: “Yeah, mine is five and yours is four.”

A two-pack of threeisms

“Sometimes I lick the fridge.” “Said while licking the fridge.”

The Boy: “Stupid, stupid.”

Me: “Are you calling me stupid?”

The Boy: “No, I was just saying that at a porcupine.”

Makes the seeking part a lot easier

The Boy: Can we play hide and seek?
Me: Sure, after your bath we can play hide and seek for five minutes.
The Boy: I’m going to hide in a very secret place.
Me: Where?
The Boy: Not in your office!
Me: Are you going to hide in my office?
The Boy: Yeah.