The Loneliness of the Karaoke DJ

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Gotta keep the crowd happy. Gotta get ’em up on their feet. I am a professional entertainer. I am a professional entertainer. I am a professional entertainer. And all this equipment ain’t gonna pay for itself.

What the hell is wrong with these people? I have never seen a crowd that didn’t react to “Who Let the Dogs Out” Is it time for “Born in the USA yet? Too soon. Gotta save that one.

Damn, my hair is looking good. I am so glad I didn’t listen to that dude at Supercuts. This never goes out of style. And I’ll bet nobody ever tells Tom Selleck that his mustache is “too ’70s” Up yours, Tammy. I was tired of her anyway. Let her keep the damn truck, see if I care. Once the karaoke takes off, I’m gonna quit my job at Radio Shack and buy me a PT Cruiser, put some flames on the side. It’ll be a business expense, too.

What do these two clowns think they’re doing? “Our Lips Are Sealed ain’t no damn Devo song. I hate it when people don’t respect the karaoke. I don’t want to get all “Karate Kid here, but if you don’t respect the karaoke, the karaoke will not respect you.

Oh, yeah. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” all right. I’ll bet you girls like to have some fun, don’t you? Oh, yeah. I don’t see no wedding rings, neither. Oh, yeah. These two will be perfect for singing backup for me on “Summer Lovin'” Dang, I wish I had a video camera. That short one’s kinda heavy, but she sure can move.

Okay, here we go, people. Let a master show you how it’s done.

Look at ’em. They can’t take their eyes off me. I know I shouldn’t do this, because lots of times guys don’t want to get up and sing after I’ve sung. Sometimes, after I do a Bob Seger number, people just stand there and stare. Sometimes it even kills the party. I’m a tough act to follow, I guess. But hell, I’m a professional entertainer.

Man, I hope there’s some meatballs left.